I lost my mojo.
It's back now -thank God, but it was gone for many months before the whole covid/quarantine situation took over. I had no desire to create. No desire to keep my business going and not even the slightest desire to try.
Wanna know the beautiful thing about all of this? The answer only came with time and experience, but this is where the beauty lies: this has happened to me numerous times before. I find it beautiful becuase I've learned that this creative energy comes in waves for me. Sometimes I am full, really full .... like bursting at the seams full of ideas, inspiration and the desire or raw need to create. Then there will be periods of . . . well . . . nothing!! No ideas, no desire, no clear direction of where to go or how to get there. that's a really uncomfortable place for me to be in. But I've learned that typically these are the times when God is asking me to be still. I'm pretty good at being still when I want to, but it's a whole different story when I don't want to :/ Even though I've been through this process before, it hasn't necessarily made it any easier to go through in subsequent times. Partially because the world is always telling us we should be doing something. But honestly, the only way I could have gotten here, to this point of "doing," is by NOT doing.
When Covid first hit, I painted for weeks. I hadn't picked up a paint brush or tube of paint in years, and suddenly, it was all I could bring myself to do. It was totally different from what I had been doing and became my coping mechanism. God used it to speak desire into my heart again, and eventually, the ideas began to flow. The funny thing is, they were old ideas! Things I had been wanting to create for years. Well, apparently the time to birth them has come.
Anyway, this long post is just a peek into the journey I've been on for the last 11 months or so. I hope it will serve as a reminder to lean into the flow of life, and not to fight it. There is a time, place and space for everything, and sometimes you can't "do" your way into your appointed time and place. Sometimes you just have to stop, sit, pivot and reset ♥︎.
xo,
